Archives for: February 2010, 02

New Breakthrough in Mathematics Discovered at the University of Tennessee!

by haymarket Email


by Lumpy Sheepbert
of the Dilly Dally Tymes staff
02 Feb 2010

Researchers at the University of Tennessee and Oak Ridge National Laboratories, have made an amazing new discovery in Mathematics. In his final State of the State Address in Nashville, last night, Governor Phil Bredesen announced the exciting new breakthrough discovered by Scientists at UT & ORNL.

By applying the formulas these entrepreneurs have designed, the University of Tennessee will be able to create 200 brand new tenured track full-tyme Faculty positions, by cutting their budget by over 6%! These new Faculty positions will remain on ORNL Federal soil, yet be funded by State monies!

When asked for comment, Governor Bredesen said, “Well, at least I ran as a Democrat.”